Closure (n.) An act or process of closing something, especially an institution, thoroughfare, or frontier, or of being closed.

Closure is a funny concept until the universe forces it upon you in the most awkward situations. This is for those of us who somehow manage to find those relationships that start out strong. Both of you have goals and are working very hard towards them until someone stops and life hits you both. For 4 years, I dated a guy who for the most part in the beginning was great. He said the right things, did the right things, was enrolled in college, and worked hard for his future. He was the type of guy who wasn’t going to allow anyone to say they were responsible for his come up. Contrary to what they will have you believe about Kylie Jenner, he was actually the Dictionary.com definition of “self-made.”  That is until about a year and a half into dating him when he got obsessed with a new dream. Soundcloud rapping. Now if you are a true millennial, you’ve had multiple encounters with soundcloud rappers. They follow you on social media so they can get their follower count up, and then they unfollow you. They slide into your DM’s and send you the craziest messages, “You the real MVP for following me (insert encouraging emojis) i hope you piss yourself laughing at my tweets annnnddd do me a huge favor and follow my music page @______ I’m just starting out so please support a brotha.” (insert laughing emoji) Yes this is a real message I’ve received. If you are of an older generation, this is how these new artists get themselves into the music industry. Now I’m aware that when you have a passion for something, you will put a lot on the line to pursue that passion. You sometimes have to stop your whole world just in case you finally catch that big break. I fully commend people for being able to give up their day jobs to pursue something that genuinely makes them happy. The problems did not start until, he quit his job, dropped out of college, and started living off his trust fund. I know, I should have been hella supportive because I was now hanging with a soundcloud rapper/trust fund baby. The issue with this is when you grow up with two hard working parents and you have your own dreams and responsibilities. You tend to not want to surround yourself with someone who thinks backup plans are stupid. We started to argue about stupid things and then he ghosted me for an entire year. It was safe to say that relationship was never going anywhere. About 6 months later, he came back and we were working on things. That is until I found out he was up in another girls DM’s talking about moving to LA and becoming this power couple. This kind of betrayal in my opinion is unforgivable, but like every dumb move you make when you’re young, or Khloe Kardashian, you choose to trust a guy on some technicalities. I learned a lot in 2016, don’t trust a guy who tells you, “When I’m big, I’ll bring you up with me”, because after two months this guy and his side chick moved to LA, and decided that he could just block out this whole life he had back in San Diego. I’m a strong believer in patience, people don’t just get to treat you like crap and not face the consequences. You will have your day to either have the last laugh or come up and show them what they’re missing. Those two lasted a strong two years, which I give them props. How you can start a relationship based on lies and deceit is beyond me, but I digress. Money doesn’t buy you happiness as cliché as that sounds it’s true, because about a year a go, I got a pretty interesting DM. “Hey, I know you’re not proud of my decisions, but I have this new song I’d really like you to listen to.” This is completely anonymous because I don’t need y’all up in my business, but let’s just say this song blamed me for a lot of things. I wasn’t supportive enough; false, I gave him trust issues; false, I got him running to other girls for love; BIG FALSE! There’s a lot of underlying factors that happened throughout this relationship, but for the sake of me not having to write a damn novel, I will just say this. If you have to constantly remind people of the sacrifices you made to support them, then they probably don’t belong in your life. This brings me back to closure. If you feel like it’s something you don’t need then don’t seek it, but if it continues to seek you follow through on it. A month ago, I was at friends dorm he had just moved in with two new roommates. I didn’t care to ask who these roommates were because frankly, it was none of my business, and I wasn’t there for them. My friend and I were hanging out in his room watching The Black Panther and unpacking his boxes. One of his roommates came home and said that my car was blocking his parking and then asked for help removing boxes from his car. I took this as my cue to leave so they could finish moving into their apartment. When I stepped into that hallway, the past 4 years of my life came right back to me. The cousin of the soundcloud rapper I had dated was standing in front of me and I just knew everything was about to become more difficult. I left immediately after having to explain to my friend what just happened. Let’s just say I have the worst luck with guys because about a week ago this guy came back to San Diego, met my friend and began to form a friendship bonded by the knowledge of me. I am no longer friends with that guy and nor did I believe I needed to deal with any of them. Until this week, I’ve been receiving nonstop texts and calls asking to see me. When people tell you the universe works in mysterious ways listen to them, because you will be caught up in it’s pull one way or another, and it is up to you whether you sink or swim. The kind of closure that I need is to close a chapter of my life I am no longer interested in, while the type of closure he needs is to apologize and finally right all of the wrongs done. I have been in contact with him the past two days so that we can communicate in person, but when that day comes I will be grateful to the universe. The lesson in all of this is, whether it is a soundcloud rapper, trust fund baby, accountant, or garbage man, if you don’t end things properly there are consequences you will have to deal with. Some people are luckier than others, but given that this is not something I want to test I will choose to deal with it now and laugh about it later.

-T